Is This Essay AI?
By Schuyler Daffey and Madison Hu Affirmative: Professor B sits at his desk in Barnard Hall, the fluorescent luminescence of Milstein his...
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Michael Colton
Dear Dante Season 9
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, My girlfriend and I have been together for six and a half months and are really compatible, but we’re both...
Michael Colton
A Graduating Senior On How To Best “Do” College
By Michael Colton In the words of Dean James Valentini and a recent Columbia Confessions poster, “college is meant to be the most...
Michael Colton
Dear Dante, Season 8
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, I missed the deadline for Senior Scramble, and now I feel like I missed my chance at getting *quality time*...
Michael Colton
Dear Dante, Season 7
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, What do kids at this school do for spring break? It’s coming up and, honestly, I have no idea how to make a...
Chloë Gottlieb and Daniel Seizer
Am I Drunk Enough?
By Chloë Gottlieb and Daniel Seizer Negative 9:30 p.m.: Calling all senior nite sluts!! U know the drill: cocktails at ours before Amity....
Cy Gilman
In Which Our Hero Joins a Community of Like-Minded Peers
By Cy Gilman Verily Veritas frequently thought about decline. At night, after a few sips of bénédictine, he would sprawl his body across...
Dante
Dear Dante, Season 5
In which Dante plays Cupid. Dear Dante, This one’s good. I’m not totally sure about this, but I think my cute TA totally has a crush on a...
Michael Colton
BREAKING: Halloween is Dead.
Halloween dead at 400-something, murdered by Cancel Culture.
Chloë Gottlieb
A Practice Exam
GRE prep for the modern Columbia student, after Alejandro Zambra’s Multiple Choice.
Malia Simon
NSOP Icebreakers: Zoom Edition
By Malia Simon Uh oh! It’s Orientation season, and you know what that means: NSOP leaders are already plotting the many ways to “get you...
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