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Dear Students
A very accurate archive of administrative correspondences. By Ava Lozner Illustration by Emma Finkelstein
Ava Lozner


Is This Essay AI?
By Schuyler Daffey and Madison Hu Affirmative: Professor B sits at his desk in Barnard Hall, the fluorescent luminescence of Milstein his...
Schuyler Daffey and Madison Hu


Why I Don't Share my Pronouns on Valentine's Day
Our Funny Valentine.

Hart Hallos


Dear Dante Season 9
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, My girlfriend and I have been together for six and a half months and are really compatible, but we’re both...

Michael Colton
A Graduating Senior On How To Best “Do” College
By Michael Colton In the words of Dean James Valentini and a recent Columbia Confessions poster, “college is meant to be the most...

Michael Colton


Dear Dante, Season 8
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, I missed the deadline for Senior Scramble, and now I feel like I missed my chance at getting *quality time*...

Michael Colton


Dear Dante, Season 7
By Michael Colton Dear Dante, What do kids at this school do for spring break? It’s coming up and, honestly, I have no idea how to make a...

Michael Colton


Am I Drunk Enough?
By Chloë Gottlieb and Daniel Seizer Negative 9:30 p.m.: Calling all senior nite sluts!! U know the drill: cocktails at ours before Amity....

Chloë Gottlieb and Daniel Seizer


In Which Our Hero Joins a Community of Like-Minded Peers
By Cy Gilman Verily Veritas frequently thought about decline. At night, after a few sips of bénédictine, he would sprawl his body across...

Cy Gilman


Dear Dante, Season 6
In which Dante advises on meeting the parents.

Dante


Dear Dante, Season 5
In which Dante plays Cupid. Dear Dante, This one’s good. I’m not totally sure about this, but I think my cute TA totally has a crush on a...

Dante


BREAKING: Halloween is Dead.
Halloween dead at 400-something, murdered by Cancel Culture.

Michael Colton


Dear Dante, Season 4
In which a newcomer to the city receives a warm welcome.

Dante


Glossary for the Return
Fourteen terms every CU/BC first-year should know.

Michael Colton


Dear Dante, Season 3
In which a picky eater is dished the dirt.

Dante


Making It Count
A Columbia Career Counselor weighs in on summer internships.

Michael Colton


A Practice Exam
GRE prep for the modern Columbia student, after Alejandro Zambra’s Multiple Choice.

Chloë Gottlieb


Dear Dante: Season 2
In which a faithful friend misses out on the fun.

Dante


Dear Dante: Season 1
In which Columbia’s piteous are offered sage advice.

Dante


Pandemic Love Log
A catalogue of tender romance.

Nicole Kohut and Sam Needleman
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