• The Blue and White Magazine

Curio Columbiana, May 2015

Updated: Jul 23

It is the stated goal of Curio Columbiana to cull from Alma Mater’s obvious and less obvious collections of great works. In this number, we present excerpts from the logs of a recent campus fraternity’s Facebook group message, in which they strategize their “clan” on the iPhone app “Clash of Clans,” a video game targeted at children. Names have been removed.

 

[Redacted] named the conversation: CoCK.


so psyched to be here


Are we warring soon or can I practice my skills and expend all my troops? I’m rusty

promote me back u bitch


im a founding member


Also, UNBAN ME FUCKERS


sent u an invite


lol did u get it u btich


Gentlemen we’re in business


Welcome to the International Clan of Beta Rho Omega, a gathering of upstanding gentlemen and ruthless invaders.


lets invade in a few days tho, im tryna make tweaks


Damn boy try to save that clan castle one dragons are a bitch to train


why are you using your clan castle to farm fuckboi


you should replace your central elixir storage with your clan castle otherwise, they could just use rogue archers to get an easy 50% on you


[Redcated] i gotchu with wizards


I already gave you wizards, my bad bro


I realized man. My fault, should have told the boys earlier. Feel bad for wasting your zards

wuts the plan in terms of bases were hitting


Dude just blitzkrieg


trying to finish up this marketing case. Will analyze when i get out


i have lvl 2 hogs not sure if that’s worth it


you got much better troops than level 2 hogs. lvl 3 dragons right?


yo sorry yah my army is kinda weak but i have barb king and Mad tactics


IMPORTANT PUT UR GODDAMN BASES INSIDE UR WALLS ALL THE WAY


someone call [redacted] and tell him to put his base inside


his baby bro has to know that war bases are completely independent of what he sees on the screen or [Redacted] is going to go overhead press his house while Trap Lord bench press reps his baby bro


[Redacted] i literally jizzed in my pants when i saw ur new base


you basically combined me and [redacted]’s bases to get a hybrid


i studied the greats its like me and [redacted] had a CoC baby


Who’s the fucker donating giants and then make the rest archers and barbarians and send them all in after the tanks


are you familiar with that strategy? bc if you dont know how to do it, then it can go awry very quickly


ya ive been studying it for hours


hey I will be attacking late – can I have troops for defense? whatever shit you don’t want


HAPPY 420!!!


Tell me if you guys need witches, hogs, golems, etc. for your castle


I’ll donate the rest of wizs. i got wizzies brewing


Guys can I just pay my dues to clash of clans next semester and get us a base so good we’ll be unstoppable


Raiding like fam fam


none of them are capable of hog rushing us—it all comes down to whether their other guys are online


2 minutes, holy shit balls


If they dont attack right now they wont have time


1 minute!


dude i think we’re good. congrats boys


Everyone satisfied with their loot?


no gimme more loot


i think we’re overthinking this

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