Campus Gossip, March 2014
In Joe recently, a reporter was interrupted by this piece of reflection: “By nature, I just like, think all poetry is good. Like, the depreciation of words. Like even a bad poem still has amazing words.”
PROBABLY TOO SOON
This year’s Varsity Show is being re-written as a dramatization of/reflection on the Theta controversy. The role of Katie Barclay will be reprised by Barclay, CC ’15, herself. Several sources expect the performance to be ugly and redemptive.
GOTTA GET PAID
One member of Bo$$ $tatu$, the hip-hop collective that made a bunch of people angry in 2012, currently lists the group in the experience section of his resume.
The Columbia Daily Spectator has requested “cultural sensitivity training” from ROOTed, the IRC’s discussion facilitation team.
In his seminar on Freud, Jonathan House shouted at the class in a fit of frustration: “When you were four years old, your uncle sucked your dick. And you liked it! ”
Rumor has it that a soon-to-be-renowned campus news site has been created to provide the city with the world’s laziest student journalism: The Columbia Sloth. Eat brick, Bwog.
BRING OUT THE HEMLOCK
There’s a tomcat that lives in a storage closet of Woodbridge. Complaints have been submitted, and facilities has ejected him before, but every time he finds a way back in. Last week he started making an annoying racket, so a student called it in. Hartley sent an exterminator with a cage to take him away. We’ll see if that works.
ANGER BE NOW YOUR SONG
Overheard from enthusiastic Theta pledge: “I mean, people throw toga parties, and that’s not offensive?”
The bar from Grisham Blake’s notorious Carman paint-party has been repossessed by Beta. It was installed in their basement on March 1. On that day, they became alcoholics.
CLASH OF AWKWARD
In the Men’s bathroom on Butler 3 there, was a ten second stand-off between the man trying to force open what he thought was a sticky stall-door and the man inside, sitting on the toilet, who held the door closed with his forehead.
SEA OF RANDOS
SEAS days on campus is reportedly the same weekend as Bacchanal. Mistakes were made, people are scrambling, and one administrator with more reco will probably be fired.
Buzzfeed … it’s sucking you dry.