Campus Gossip

As heard by The Blue and White.

Illustration by Selin Ho

BARNARD’S VERY OWN FREQUENT FLYER

Word on the street is that Chair of the Barnard English department, Professor Ross Hamilton, commutes to teach his class cross-Atlantic. You heard that right—he permanently lives in Spain,  jets in for the start of the week to teach his classes, and escapes back to the Iberian sunshine by the weekend.

THE FREE SPEECH FABLE 

A certain Columbia free speech organization has taken its mission of speaking freely perhaps a little too literally. By this, we mean they have been telling campus magazines, political groups, and newspapers that other like-minded organizations have signed on as members of their coalition, when, in reality, none of those organizations have agreed to anything of the sort. Despite these acts of creative storytelling, their website indicates that a mere six organizations have agreed to join. And to top it off, the e-board seems to be ripping at the seams as leadership flees in response to the club’s, let’s say, flexible relationship with the truth. 

GIVE US A SPEC OF SPACE

Have you spent the last few weeks desperately prowling for a seat in NOCO, only to be beaten out every time? Point your frustration at the parade of coffee chats searching for who’s worthy of becoming the next overlords of the Spectator managing board. Rumor has it some hopefuls are even pitching a revival of daily print. Yikes.

BIOLOGICAL WARFARE

A toilet paper bandit has taken over the fifth and sixth floors of Elliot Hall. Leaving behind their signature calling card, a monstrous mountain of toilet paper, this culprit has sparked not one but two independent investigations to reveal their identity. In the meantime, Residential Life has threatened collective fines for all residents if the perpetrator doesn’t stop or come forward.  Floor meetings have been held, posters hung—yet the TP peaks will rise again.

Winter Break . . . it’s fast approaching!