Don’t you stay lonely! Utilize this collection of everyday campus chat-up, historically relevant zingers, and University one-liners to seduce your classroom crush Compiled by Natalie Buttner Illustration by Ines Alto Are you heading to Lerner? Because you are the Ferrist. Are you the gates? Because I wanna open you up! Oh shoot! Looks like the Uris Pool is closed, looks like we’ll have to take off all our clothes and get wet in my room instead. I can’t help but notice you'

By Hannah Lui Across 1. Most courageous 8. Unwilling to hear, as criticism 14. Customize for 15. Gandhi who served as India’s Prime Minister 16. Normal 17. Not fit for polite company 18. Deprive (of) 19. Big Brother org. 20. “That’s gotta hurt” 21. ___ the cows come home 22. Fitzgerald known as “The First Lady of Song” 24. Give the boot 26. “Rule, Britannia” composer 27. Winter vehicles that go downhill fast 29. Black church letters 30. Releases 31. Divining decks 33. High

By Ryan Crawford move your scapular tongue to the rhythm of a fugue the next time i won’t shudder a prayer on pew-worn knees or lead your gun only moments away from that grand exit when she is burning and you are alone but not so un-American and you can look at me without only laughing for those couple seconds when incensed bullets are between newer lives instead we can share a religion what you would call a lesser faith and burn newer charcoals and rosary bea

And you shall receive. By Ava Lozner I have been contacted upwards of eleven times by senior members of The Blue and White who demand that I stop secretly inserting this column into the Magazine. This is my first time succeeding in publishing my work after countless thwarted attempts. I believe I have an essential perspective on the contours of this world that simply must be shared. It flows through me like a spurting fountain of wisdom. The truth cannot—shall not—remain hid

On punk, performance, and piecing it together. By Liam Curedale and Jack Bradner Illustration by Jing Geng Ned Russin, GS ’19, is best known for his time as bassist and co-lead vocalist of the iconic hardcore band, Title Fight. But he’s been busy since the band’s last performance in the 2010s: he graduated with a degree in Creative Writing from Columbia’s School of General Studies; released five albums with the band, Glitterer; and published his debut novel, Horizontal Rust.

A series of events. By Marianna Jocas Illustration by Jacqueline Subkhanberdina Over the summer I was seeing this guy, and therefore, was going on a series of dates. At the same time, I had developed an addiction to Medjool dates, and one morning (while eating my daily dose of dates) I told my mom, “You know, I’m really liking these dates. One date a day keeps the doctor away, so they say.” She smiled, ignoring my cringe-comedy, and said, “I actually agree—speaking of, when

Longtime tenants of 542 West 112th St. and their first undergraduate neighbors By Jack Bradner Illustration by Vanessa Zhou Columbia’s apartments right above Upside Pizza welcomed their first cohort of undergraduates this fall. But not all of its tenants are newcomers. Taped to an apartment’s front door, a printed-out letter introduces Mr. and Mrs. Mirza, an elderly couple who has lived in 542 West 112th for over 40 years. Their letter is a thoughtful, uplifting welcome: “We

New York ensemble Sonnambula expands the classical music canon for 21st century By Ana Sorrentino Illustration by Nini Vilac On Jan. 5, 1711, in the north of France, a singer from King Louis XIV’s court named Louise Couperin sang two songs at a young prince’s dinner. That is nearly everything we know about the evening. We don’t know the room, the guest list, or whether the boy at the head of the table, three days shy of his fourth birthday, even looked up from his plate. What

Southern reminisces. By Lily Ouellet Illustration by Iris Pope It was one of my first days at Barnard, deep into the period in which time slugs and each morning serves another relentless effort at perfecting a pitch-deck of personhood. My new friend and I were sitting with our backs to Barnard Hall, picking at Hewitt scraps, having recently discovered that the building’s small-awnings were perfect for hiding from August’s piercing sun. I was deep into an anecdote about La Bo

A sorority girl’s odyssey By Elika Khosravani Illustration by Truman Dickerson Chorus: Sing to me of the woman, the heroine who rose to the heights of her sorority’s convention. Many wonders of women she met, many foes and fears she faced, as she survived the scourges suffered that fateful July weekend. Relish in our heroine’s tale, Muse: the newly discovered daughter of Dallas. Start from where you will—from the mouth of the convention’s trail to its devilish descent. I ha

Is it too late to say one more thing about The Odyssey? By Zoe Gallis Illustration by Etta Lund This past summer, Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey arrived in theaters around the world, and in anticipation of its release, sales of Emily Wilson’s 2017 translation of the epic surged significantly. The resurfacing of this ancient story en masse brought about a cultural moment of multimedia dialogue; the movie of the summer came with required reading—friends, distant relatives, mag

Media we think you would enjoy — but likely not as much as The Blue and White Magazine Natalie Buttner, Editor-in-Chief: Detectorists (Acorn). The Sundays, “Summertime.” Cutting your losses. Oatmeal. Duda Kovarsky Rotta, Managing Editor: Zéquinha de Abreu, “Tico-Tico no Fubá.” Pierre Nora, “Between Memory and History: Les Lieux de Mémoire.” Miguel Lago, “Entre 1920 e 2030.” Irish Breakfast tea. Nnema Épée-Bounya, Deputy Editor: Cesária Evora, “Homem na Meio di’Homem.” Hish

BOARD NATALIE BUTTNER, BC ’27, Editor-in-Chief DUDA KOVARSKY ROTTA, CC ’28, Managing Editor NNEMA ÉPÉE-BOUNYA, BC ’28, Deputy Editor LUCY SPENCER MASON, CC ’27, Publisher INES ALTO, CC ’28, Illustrations Editor IRIS POPE, CC ’28, Illustrations Editor JEREMIAH BARRON, CC ’28, Layout Editor AUDREY WANG, CC ’29, Web Editor ELIKA KHOSRAVANI, BC ’27, Literary Editor LUCIA DEC-PRAT, CC ’27, Crossword Editor HANNAH LUI, CC ’28, Crossword Editor Senior Editors JACK BRADNER, CC