By Rocky R ūb and Iris Eisenman Illustration by Derin Ogutcu During a polycule outing in Gowanus, BK, the following messages were recorded while Bweditors (Blue & White Editors) confronted Feditors (Columbia Federalist Editors) about a recent claim in the latter “publication” that the former Magazine is BROKE (bye). The truth is, allegations like this started three years ago when an-ex EIC accidentally used the company card instead of her parent’s, draining (almost) our enti

Barnard English goes “global.” By Iris Eisenman Illustration by Nini Vilac Not too long ago, Professor Atefeh Akbari could be found in the labyrinthine recesses of the LeFrak offices. Now, I had the pleasure of speaking with Akbari in her cozy office on the fourth floor of Barnard Hall, with plenty of natural light flooding the room. The change of environment is a reflection of her career’s progress at Barnard. Akbari is arguably the face of the English department’s recent ef

How to drink from the heart. By Iris Eisenman Illustration by Justin Chen In anticipation of a date, I watched my friend, who never smokes, tuck a cigarette into her purse. When I asked her why, she told me it was her first date routine. Something about the small ritual gave her a comfortable distance from the moment, like someone else was experiencing the night in her stead. I immediately recognized her desire for a switch to be flipped, for romance to exist in a compartment

A healthcare horror story. By Iris Eisenman Illustration by Isabelle Oh On a dark and stormy night, a Barnard freshman takes the treacherous journey across the vast expanse of Broadway. Every step is a gamble in her pink fuzzy slippers on the slick brick paving. Nevertheless, she persists, midnight munchies guiding her path. Will she ever arrive at JJ’s pearly gates? It is possible that no woman has ever walked this far. Shuffling past the half-living spirits floating in the