Postcard by Jennifer Bi

These excerpts were culled from documents left on Columbia’s lab computers. We encourage our readers to submit their own digitalia finds to us, via email, at bwgossip@columbia.edu. Thu, Feb 16, 2017 at 10:57 AM LOST GREEN JACKET $1,000,000 New York, NY Were you at SigNu last night? Did you take a green Ralph Lauren jacket w/ fur hood that wasn’t yours? Plz return !!! It was a brand new bday gift from my mom! (sentimental value priceless, srry not a buy sell trade post but wil

Listen By Ryan Cohen “Listen, I know this cafe that I’d love to show you. We could get coffee sometime this weekend and maybe get to know each other.” “Listen…I don’t know exactly how to say this, but this past month has made me happier than I’ve felt in a while. I know we never wanted anything serious. What if we just gave it a shot?” “Hey listen, sorry I didn’t get back to you last night. I was busy” “Whatever she told you is a lie! You have to know that … please calm down.

The recent demise of the moderator of elections.

In which our hero uses a few too many italics

By David Alexander Swanson Thanksgiving has passed. Out march the elves and the reindeer, the snowmen and candy canes in their cohorts. Green and red their banners fly, determined they look on, while in one voice they cry out into the snowy night their choruses of consumerist carols. Christmas is now upon us. Yet, for all the jingles, all the wrapping, the hype, we few, we miserable few, remain aloof in our library hovels, surrounded by half-eaten Blue Java, a desk pollocked