Are We Going to Room Together?

Affirmative

By Mabel Taylor

 

Room together? Let’s ROOM-inate on this for a hot sec… Lol, just kidding, yes! Of course! Yes, yes, yes!!! How could you ever even think I’d say no? God, my heart is racing. I love this conversation! I love this question! I love this answer! I love you! I always knew we’d end up roommates. No, I’m not being an idiot! I swear.


The first time I saw you, across the classroom in Critical Approaches, man, my heart was thumping. I knew from the moment I saw you that we’d get along like North Carolina and South Carolina. It was so cool. Remember when we first talked, that day in the bathroom, when I needed toilet paper and you had too much toilet paper? From that day on, I knew we would be glued at the hip and that you would be by my side for
the entirety of the afterlife, heaven OR hell. And we all know that after what happened in FroSci last weekend, we’re probably going to hell. Lol!


Our friendship progressed so quickly, it was like I’d known you my whole life. Totally one of those “I’d miss you even if we never met” kind of moments. Like all those nights when we would just sit, side-by-side, in the library and I’d try to convince you to go out to get a drink with me, and then we would go out a get a drink. Those were the moments of my life. Those moments when I’d just look over at you, texting on your smartphone and be like, “damn.” That’s what friendship is about—moments.


And what we have is so much more than friendship now! Roommates? Holy crap. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like. We’re really doing it, aren’t we? We’re gonna go through the housing lottery together, we’re gonna move in together, we’re gonna take turns showering, we’re gonna share shampoo, but only if we run out of our own shampoo because we use different shampoos, we’re gonna sleep in the same room every
night and also study together pretty often… I literally cannot wait. Like I cannot wait. I can’t. Can you move in now? I have a Twin XL, it’s a lot bigger than a twin. You should look at it. I think we could both fit in there.


Maybe next year we can just push the beds together. We can sleep head to foot, talk about foot massages! And at night, we will dream together, sweet, sweet dreams all night, every night. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve dreamt about you before. Nothing dirty! Just nice little adventures with you in my dreamscapes. I love those dreams, because they’re going to be like the building blocks, the brick and mortar of our year together. I love to dream about the walls of our friendship going up, surrounding us, reaching up to heaven. Man, I am so excited about rooming with you!


It feels really good to envision our life together. I see us living together for the rest of college and thenfinding an apartment after we graduate, though we’d probably have to part ways when we get married. But we can be each other’s maids of honor. If we plan properly we can even have a double wedding! I’ve also read about couples splitting brownstones in Brooklyn, so we could actually live together once we’re married too.

 

Negative

By Virginia Fu

I don’t know.


Look, we gotta talk. You know how much I value your friendship. And you’re not being an idiot, I feel the same way! The first time I ran into you in Hewitt, and you spilled that glass of chocolate almond milk down the front of my cardigan and tried to wipe it away with bread, I was like, damn, that’s a really pretty shade of nail polish. Like, oh my god, you looked so pretty I wanted to kill you. No, I’m being serious! I would kill you.


It’s been so nice to spend all this time with you this year in all of the school’s best spaces, like when we go to the library together, or classes, or your room, or my room, or bathrooms. You know all those times you would talk about how swell it would be if all these spaces were connected—like with tunnels or something, or just like smushed together! Like, if you broke down the walls between the stalls at Mel’s. Like, if my room were also your room and our rooms were bathroom stalls in Mel’s—and I said yeah! Then it would be like we’re always in the space! Because then there would be only one space. That was so smart! Oh my god! I love that. I love that so much. I hate you for being so smart. I literally hate you! I’m going to kill you and dump your body in the river.


That is a thing that definitely needs to happen at some point! And of course I would move into your single! I love Hartley! It is so sweet of you to ask! God, you are so sweet. Maybe tonight after Pilates? Maybe right now since we just finished Skyping? Are we still on for our IKEA date? And after that you could skip your 6:10 and come with me to Cannon’s? We could drink beer there? I just want to be with you forever too! That’s my dream. I want to steal your children and raise them on milk and honey on the beach resort my dad owns in Guam! I want to break down the walls between us and be the same person as you. I want to kill you and
wear your soft body and your dope shirts. You are so good at choosing what shirts to buy.


But—about the roommate thing. I’m not saying no! I really want to be your roommate. I just don’t think
it’s that simple. Think about it. There are definitely things we should talk about some more.


Like for example, if there’s one window, whose desk would we put by the window? Would it just be the desk that was already by the window? Should we even have desks or should it just be all flowers? Should the flowers be orchids which I know are your favorite? What if they get too much sunlight???? Should the posters on the walls be of puppies or U2??????


God, it’s so stressful to even think about being roommates! I can’t. I can’t. I’m staring at a picture I took you of this morning in Ferris and crying. God you’re so perfect. I can’t. Meet in front of the IKEA ferry at 3? Omg so excited to see you again!!!